Just the two of us

Well madi girl, 

We took our last trip to California just the two of us. We are spending two weeks visiting the grandparents while daddy finishes fire school and takes his tests. It was my first flight without a "baby". No stroller or binkie or bottle of baby food to get through the airport, just my cute girl holding my hand while we walked around. You were well behaved on the plane and I couldn't complain. 

It's crazy to think that this will be the last time it's "just us". I remember feeling this way before you were born when dad and I would do things. It's a truly bittersweet feeling. I know baby boy will be a wonderful blessing for the family but I know I will also miss the quiet times it was just you and I. 

You are going through the terrible two stage and have lots of drama for me, but our days are easier and you are more independent. I think I will really love being a mom of "kids" and not toddlers and babies. I love being more flexible and able to communicate and play with my kids. You are learning new things every day and I love watching you explore the world around you. 

23 weeks

Terrible twos

It's here. It's happening. It sucks. 

For about the last two weeks you have been a complete brat! I don't know what has gotten in to you but you throw fits constantly and are very rude. Most people say the terrible twos are brought on because children have all these emotions and can't communicate and that brings frustration and anger. However, you talk better then some three year olds I have met so I know communication is not your problem. Baby brother isn't here yet and so it's not a jealousy thing either. You are almost 2 1/2 so maybe I should be lucky it held out this long? 

You have up naps the first week of January and I feel like we have just been on the downhill since then. You no longer desire to learn potty training, or listen to your mother, or nap, or want to take baths, or be kind and use kind words. Right now you are very grumpy and if anyone does something you don't like you throw an emotional fit and scream. It sucks! Your most recent thing is constantly wanting to be held when you throw these fits and it puts me in a bad place because I can't reward that behavior. I think this week I will try and get you to nap again. For my own sanity I need that little bit of quiet time and I need my happy girl back. 

You still don't sleep through the night which is rough and you are sick AGAIN which always messes up any progress we have made with your sleeping. I am hoping to get you to stay in your room until at least 6am every night. With brother on the way I just don't know how I will manage being up all night with both of you and then somehow function as a mother during the day and care and feed for the two of you. And then I think some women are crazy enough to have 8 kids?! What were they thinking and how in the hell do they do it? I'm freaking out about having two and they will be almost three years apart. 

*sigh* I will take a deep breath. Say a little prayer and hope that tomorrow I can be a better mom. 

If this is any hint at the moody teenager you are going to be ... I'm screwed. 

Christmas 2014

Way amazing! Here are pictures from all December long 

20 weeks

This pregnancy is HALF WAY DONE! Holy cow! It is going by so fast. I am having a hard time documenting everything going on.

Tomorrow we get to go to the doctor and get the big ultrasound, and see my sweet boy for a long time while they measure every part of you. We changed doctors this week too. I used to see Dr Donna Bennett at Valley OB, but they were always running behind and I got tired of it. The SHORTEST I ever waited at an appointment was 45 minutes, not including the 10 minutes I would show up early in hopes to speed things along. Then once we saw the doctor, it was a very rushed 30 second appointment and they didn't have time to answer my questions. When we tried to schedule future appointments and they were so hard to work with and very rude. Which got me thinking.. Dr Bennett usually delivers at UVRMC (Daddy's hospital) but we wanted to deliver at Orem Community.  She said she would be willing to come there to deliver but now I'm thinking if she does not have enough time to make it to my appointments, she definitely can't drop everything to come to another hospital to deliver you. I decided to go with Dr Kory Harward, he is an OB at Orem Community and I think it would be better to just pick a doctor that is already at the hospital instead of trying to get someone special. We meet with him for the first time next week and I am hopeful that he is nice. He has great reviews online so we will see. Dr Bennett mentioned that because you are so low that you will be a fast delivery which is nice but worries me at the same time. I am just hoping not to be home alone when I go in to labor.

I get some pretty good heartburn at night now. You are extremely low and put me in a good amount of pain most of the day but other then that you are pretty mellow. I feel your little movements through out the day but they are just still so small. Not the crazy flipping and kicking like Madison.

I think you're sticking to the same plan of coming early as Madi did. Last week I had contraction for almost 2 hours. They were intense! Not the braxton hicks, but actual contractions. It scared me pretty bad but they haven't happened since so I think thats ok. No stretch marks yet and I currently weigh 123 Lbs. I'm sure I'll slowly gain more here soon but we will see. I haven't gotten really big and people are shocked when they find out this is a second pregnancy and I'm this small. I guess thats a blessing? Its also because you are super low in my pelvis and not really popping out yet.

I don't have any cravings or food aversions right now. This pregnancy has been pretty smooth, aside from the round ligament pain, which I am told will get worse with every pregnancy and there isnt much I can do about it. Oh joy!

I am getting excited to meet you, little man. We are slowly getting things together for your arrival. It amazes me the things you need for a second baby. I thought just clothes if it was a gender change but there are so many other things needed too! I don't know how we will make this tiny apartment work with two kiddos, but we will try our best and be creative.