15 Weeks With Baby #2 and lots of questions.

How did you find out you were pregnant?  By taking a home pregnancy test, of course. It was a complete surprise and I was not expecting it to be positive. 

What kind of Pregnancy test did you take?  Shoot, I don't remember the brand. Probably EPT?

How many?  Just one.  The second line was VERY dark as opposed to when I found I was pregnant with Madi and the line was very faint. 

What were your 1st symptoms?  Exhausted. That was the only thing that prompted me to take a test randomly one night. 

Who did you tell first?  My husband

Who was with you when you found out? I was running a bath for Madison when I decided to quickly take one. When the second line instantly popped up and freaked out and  then ran out to tell Zach, who was bringing in groceries. 

My 1st reaction: Complete shock. Was not expecting it and had a total rush of emotions. I cried. 

Was your baby planned?  We had been trying but with no luck for several months. 

When was the baby conceived? October 4th. 

How far were you when you found out?  Just barely 4 weeks 3 days. 

How did your parents react?  My parents were excited for another grandchild. Zach's parents were happy for us but the uncles didn't care. haha. 

My baby

Due Date:  June 22

Do you know the sex?  Hopefully find out next week. 

Any names?  We have lots that we like but don't think we will decide anything until delivery. 

Any Ultrasounds?  One at my first appointment (7weeks).  Hopefully one at 16 weeks (to find out the sex) and one at 20 weeks for measurements. 

Have you heard the heart beat?  First heard it at the 7 and 12 week appts. We will hear it every time we go it. The heart rate was 164 so they are thinking its a girl. 

Who do you think it will look like? If its a girl, I hope shes just as cute as her sister. If its a boy I'm sure it will be a nice mix of us. 

Will the baby have siblings?  Big sister, Madison who will almost be 3 when the baby is born. 

Have you felt the baby move?  Not really, this kid kinda lays low. Every once and a while I might feel something but nothing big. 

Miscellaneous

Did you have morning sickness?  I was really nauseous from about week 7 - 12 but I am feeling fine now. I didn't take any medication this time around either, so I'm sure that made it worse then it could have been . 

Did you have any cravings? Raspberry lemonade with no pulp & Fish Tacos.  

Did you have any mood swings?  Maybe? I'm trying to be really good this time around because I always have a toddler watching. 

Are you a high risk pregnancy?  Semi - high risk. Because Madison was born early, they are keeping an extra eye on this pregnancy.. and when I'm told to take "bed rest" I need to take it more seriously this time. 

Any complications?  None yet. 

Formula or Breastfeeding? I'm flexible. I will attempt to breastfeed again, but if it does not work, I will not stress and just do formula. 

Have you bought anything for the baby yet? Nothing just yet. I'm sure the shopping will start when we find out the gender. 

When did you start to show? I think around 9 weeks I had a little pouch. Most people don't know I'm pregnant yet but I'm sure in the next couple weeks my tummy will round out. 

How long could you wear your regular clothes?  I bought a few maternity things at 11 weeks for the sheer comfort factor.  I definitely didn’t have a baby bump that early, but I was bloated and opted for comfort.  Best decision. I can still fit in to my jeans while buttoned so that's awesome. 

Will you keep the baby’s clothes?  We did with the first, so I don't see why not. 

Home or Hospital?  Hospital. I want drugs, doctors and everything else.

Natural or Medicated birth?  I want the epidural and any other medication they want to throw my way. I want to enjoy labor and delivery. 

Who will be in the delivery room with you?  My darling husband and maybe a photographer this time. 

Do you think you will need a C-section?  I sure hope not.  I also hope that it all happens when the baby is ready to come out.  Not a fan of being induced either but we shall see. 

Will you cry when you hold the baby for the 1st time?  Of course I will. I have a lot of emotions. 

What’s the 1st thing you might say to the baby?  Hi baby. I'm your mommy. 

Will you let anyone video tape the birth? No. Gross. 

Are you excited? Kind of. I fear a lot more this time around. Will Madison like her little sibling? Will I survive the no sleep newborn stage again? Can I handle being a mother of two? Will we be able to afford everything that comes with having two kids? But deep down. I am excited. 

Who will help you with the baby after the birth?  My mom will come in town for about three weeks to help with things, but she is staying at my grandmothers house so we will see how much help she is. 

What is your favorite thing about being pregnant?  Feeling the baby move.  I love it!

What is the worst thing about being pregnant?  Heartburn. My sweet acne face. 

What’s one thing you miss doing since being pregnant?  Nothing, I really haven't changed my lifestyle too much.   

Any days you wish you were not pregnant?  Not yet. Maybe when I'm really large and sore I will wish for it to be over. 

Are you ready for a baby?  Nope but we still have several months.

Do you have insurance?  Yup 

How many kids do you want?  I think two is good for us. 

Do you talk to the baby?  Eh, not really.  I rub my tummy and say Hi!

Do you still feel attractive? Nope, I feel fat. My face looks like a 15 year old. I definitely don't have a beautiful pregnancy glow. 

Have you had your baby shower yet?  Nope, don't know if I will get one for this kiddo

Do you like kids?  I like MY kid 

How far along are you now? 15 weeks 

A December to remember

December is the Christmas season, where families come together and memories are made. However, December for me is just the reminder that we are now in full swing winter germ warfare!

I was never blessed with a strong immune system. I am thankful living in California most of my life, that I never had to deal with the real winter sickness that goes about. Living in Utah is a different story. I seem to be sick from end of October through March and it drives me nuts. Before I became a mom, it was not too big of a deal-- after work I would rest and take care of myself. Being a mother is a different story, Mothers don't get to take sick days. What is even worse is when your child is sick too.

Thankfully the morning sickness stopped on Thanksgiving and has not returned. I still have horrible insomnia so I am tired from that, and I have given up caffeine completely this pregnancy, still don't know if it was a stupid or smart idea.

Anyways, on November 13 Zach was not feeling well one night and we couldn't figure out what was going on. We decided to take him to the ER because he was having symptoms of Meningitis (sp?) and that would be a very serious condition to have him around our family. So several hours later, 1 emptied bag of IV fluid and 4 tubes of blood later...... they had no clue what was wrong and sent us home. Zach was feeling better a few weeks later.

On Thanksgiving (Nov 24) We all went to the Lymans house to celebrate, Zach had another stomach bug or something and spent the entire day in bed and then had to work that night. After dinner the brothers and I went to Walmart while Madison stayed at Grandmas to play with her cousins, I came home an hour later to find out that my toddler had projectile vomited all over the kitchen floor. Awesome. Thankfully that was the end of that sickness and it was not the flu. Two days later you caught a nasty case of croup and were sick for about a week. One Monday morning I took you to the doctor to get a steroid and  Motrin for the fever. It really seemed to help, but that night while Zach was at work you were extra coughy. While I was working upstairs, something told me I needed to check on you. As I walked down the stairs you started a coughing fit and when I opened the door to check on you, you coughed so hard you threw up. I turned on the light and realized that you weren't breathing after you threw up. I deep panic and fear fell in the pit of my stomach. I tried to get you to breathe but ran upstairs to grab my phone and call 911. Thankfully you took a breath and were ok. I was so scared that I called Zach, and  said I was bringing you in. Only having one car, I had to call Grandma to come get us and take us there. I was so shaken up and upset. It was the scariest moment of my life. We arrived at the ER, Zach was cool calm and collected and I looked like a giant mess. They gave you a breathing treatment and watching you for a while. The treatment helped and after two hours of watching you, they sent you home.

After the croup was over, you caught a cold then as the cold was finishing, you caught this stomach bug. Again, you were at Grandmas house for a Christmas party sleep over with the cousins. Grandma called me in the morning to let me know you had throw up all night. So after three days of trying to figure out what was going on -- and lots of movie watching -- we had arrived on day 4. You still had extreme diarrhea and occasional vomiting.  I called the doctor again just to make sure I was doing everything right to take care of you. The asked me to come in and check you. You had lost a little weight and they decided that you were dehydrated and needed to get some fluids in you, stupid me thought they would do that in the doctors office, but instead they sent me to the hospital. Again, Zach was at work, and again Grandma came along to help. We arrived at the pediatric floor of the hospital and got you all checked in. But now you had not eaten anything since your last throw up at 3pm and were completely empty but they would not give you anything to eat or drink until they got everything set up to do an IV. We went in the treatment room to get you the IV and Zach was able to sneak upstairs to help. It took 3 nurses and Zach and I holding her tightly to try and get the dang thing in. FIRST OF ALL the lady they let "try" was training and Madi was a super strong and wiggly little girl. THEY TRIED 7 TIMES to get an IV in. I was so upset. After 45 minutes of screaming and trying to poke her, I said I had enough and wanted to go back to our room, we could try again later if needed. Thankfully everything came back fine and they let her eat some crackers and Popsicle and again waited a few hours before sending us home. The entire next day was spent getting you as much fluids as possible  and just resting.

It seems like the end of this sickness is near and I am so hopeful that this will be the last sickness of the season. I don't know where she keeps getting sick from because we don't go anywhere and shes not even in school to be around tons of kids. I think Madison was born with the same crap immune system I was. Poor kid.

11 weeks

Here's where we are at

I'm starting to finally feel better. Its been about 5 days since I last felt super sick, so I am hoping this is the last of the sickness time.

I have been craving raspberry lemonade of all things. It seems to be the only thing to quench my thirst but it has to be a good one and I will drink like 3 of them with a meal. Its crazy. I am turned off by soda at the moment.

Pretty much nothing sounds good when its time to eat, but I have learned to snack constantly to keep sickness at bay. I have tried my hardest not to take any nausea meds this time around and I am sure that was stupid of me, but I just wanted to see how bad it would be. I also didn't want to be completely out of it while I was trying to take care of Madi.

I still have NO CLUE who/what you are. I am getting so excited to find out in January. Madison calls you "baby sister" and I'm not sure how upset she will be if you turn out to be a boy. She is pretty dead set on it.

We get to hear your heart beat again next week. I am still fitting into my normal jeans. For a few days there I was pretty bloated and had to switch to maternity pants for comfort but that went away and I'm still back to normal.

We haven't announced to everyone yet. Hopefully this week we can.

Madi says

You are the sweetest. I love this stage.

You talk so much and say some of the sweetest things.

NOVEMBER 2014

Waiting to check out at Hobby Lobby, you asked me for a treat. I said ok, you looked around the store and said you couldn't find a Tootsie Roll. I said "I don't think they have any" and you very loudly said OH COME ON! and threw your head back. Everyone in line busted up laughing.

At dinner with the Powell Great Grandparents. Grandpa referring to dinner says "Madi, do you like the steaks? I bought 'em" Madison quickly responds "Grandpas bottom? EWWWW!" 

Last night you found a fake spider left over from Halloween and crawled it up my arm and when I pretended to be scared you said "oh mommy I'm sorry. I was just pretending, it's not spooky"  

Last week I cut my face and it was bleeding a lot (which face wounds do) and I kept wiping it with a tissue to get it to stop. You were very concerned and wanted to keep checking on me. I asked you if you wanted to clean it up for me and you responded with "mom, that's disgusting!" 

When daddy comes home from work you hug him and say "miss you buddy". Your goodness outweighs your naughty ness. You are a very good kid, aside from the no sleeping at night. 

Pom a Dino = pomegranates 

Cock a my doodle = what a rooster says
Farter Farter - Firefighter

   

9 weeks. Round Two

Here is a side by side picture of my tummy at 9 weeks. I think it looks about the same. Jeans are still fitting but the sickness is horrible. It comes in waves and I have thrown up a handful of times this pregnancy.

Mothers are Not Wimps

Sometimes I feel like the world is teaching women that motherhood 

is a lot of things that it is not.

In social media and the political world, and even in our own neighborhoods

we are being taught that to be a mother we need to

feel scared to raise teenagers or to be frazzled about toddlers,  

or exhausted about the midnight feedings.

I have heard mothers complain that pregnancy and delivery are too scary 

and they don't even want to have children.  

And mostly that if we are happy mothers--we are not normal.

Ladies, we are not wimps.

Don't let anyone tell you so. 

While I will admit motherhood, at times, are those things I mentioned above, 

 it is also and mostly satisfying, rewarding, happy, colorful, 

beautiful and so much fun.

Motherhood is natural.  WE know what we are doing.  

Deep within us we are born with a maternal instinct and we

carry traits of honesty, faith in God, duty, respect for others,

 kindness, self-confidence, and the desire to contribute, 

and teach love to our children’s minds and hearts.

We are kind and soft and brave and powerful.

I realize that motherhood comes easier and maybe more natural to others,

But it is still our divine purpose, and our right as a woman.

 I am sticking by that.

I am on your side, and if you need to change your babies diaper in the trunk

of your car in the grocery store parking lot,

I won't judge.  You are have an ally in me.

"Mothers, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. 

Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be

 magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than you are, 

and better than you have ever been. You are doing terrifically well. 

The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is 

everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. 

He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days

 and your nights may be the most challenging. Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”

Jeffery R. Holland

7 weeks

Well nugget. Turns out you are only 7 weeks 5 days old today. I don't know why but someone at the dr office told me that you would be 10 weeks today and that is why we went in.

We got to see you today. Daddy had to work but Mimi, papa and big sister came to see you. They brought out an older machine and you were so small that they had a hard time seeing you and we didn't get to hear the heartbeat. So after everyone went out to the car, the ultrasound tech snuck me in for another look on the new machine so we could get a better look. It was kind of a nice private look just the two of us and it was kinda sweet. You are so tiny right now. I am glad that madi was wrong when she kept telling me that there were "two a dem". I still don't know who you are, with Madison I knew 100% that she was a girl and with you I just can't decide. 

I think the second time around you are still excited because you get to see the spark of life but so nervous because you are so aware of the many dangers. 

I am sick and have been pretty bad in the afternoons and evenings. I think I was sad to find out that you were just under 8 weeks because I already look like I'm 12+ weeks. Which means you were only 4 weeks 3 days when we found out with such a super positive test. Crazy!! So yay for a few more weeks of sickness. 

Your heartbeat was 138. I am excited to find out who you are in a couple months!  

6 weeks

Ok, well actually we don't know how far along I am because I don't go to the dr for several more weeks so I am just guessing.

I think these first several weeks are my least favorite, not because of the tiredness and nausea, but because I don't know WHAT you are. Are you another sweet girl? Are you a mommas boy? I love finding out what sex my babies are so I can begin to imagine and fall in love with you even more. Of course I love you now, but there is something so satisfying about thinking of names, and making blankets for you and thats hard to do when we don't know who you are.

We are going to a new OB after all the troubles Dr Judd gave me. He seemed alright at the time, but now looking back and understanding more, he was not the best choice for me.

Since Madison came early, this pregnancy may be considered "high risk" and I would like a Dr that is willing to listen to me. Our first Dr appt is November 10th. They will draw my blood, listen to the heart beat and do a little ultrasound to see you. I can't wait. Daddy will be working and starting fire school so he wont be able to attend this first visit and I think he is very upset about it. However, Mimi will be in town so we are dragging her along so she can see everything and help with Madison. I think she will be VERY excited.

We told Grandma and Grandpa earlier last week and told all the siblings on Sunday at dinner. Madison wore a "I'm the best big sister" shirt and we just kinda waited until people noticed. BUT having 5 uncles, no one cares. Aunt Lindsay seemed to care and of course it sparked her "need for another baby" so lets see if she has one now.

We haven't told My parents yet because we are waiting till they get here for a visit and we will tell them on Mimi's 50th birthday.

I have been feeling waves of sickness so far but I am not taking any medication this time around. Last time it made me so sleepy with Madi I could barely keep my eyes awake. Now trying to entertain a toddler, that won't be possible. I haven't thrown up yet but I do get waves of sickness and food aversions sometimes. We will see how this little bean continues to grow. I seem to have insomnia most nights which has made it a little rough, but I still have enough energy during the day so I appreciate that.

Here we go again -- Kiddo #2

Tonight we got a positive pregnancy test. Oh how funny the Lord is with his timing. Gosh. I have too many emotions going on in my head right now.

We have been thinking of having another baby for several months now. Our original plan was to get pregnant right around Madison's second birthday and then have a baby the following spring. Then we could have the baby before we left for medical school, or whatever life had in store for us. BUT Back in March I had a feeling that we needed to start trying sooner, reluctant we still tried. I believe we got pregnant in May but lost the baby early July. I knew I was pregnant but something didn't feel right. A few weeks later I miscarried. It wasn't as emotional as I had thought, I think maybe I knew all along and so I didn't get so attached. Looking back it is still sad.

So after then we tried and tried and tried and every month would pass and I think Dad would get a little sad. Then in September we decided that we were going to stop trying for a while. We were alright with just having Madison and the timing for another was just not going to work out. But then as I was about to start my period in September I had this overwhelming feeling to wait just one more month before going back on birth control. I talked to Zach about it and he felt the same.

October rolled around and everything was going smoothly in life. I had been feeling so tired and having a couple symptoms of early pregnancy but I didn't want to let it get in my head and get my hopes up in case it was another negative test. My period is scheduled to start tomorrow but after an extremely exhausting day (for no reason) I decided to grab a pregnancy test while at the grocery store. I decided to just take a test really quick tonight just so I knew that my period would start soon. Seriously, within seconds the two lines showed up. I FREAKED out. I was not expecting it. I ran upstairs as Zach was bringing in groceries and started to cry and couldnt say a word. He just kept saying SERIOUSLY?? SERIOUSLY?? You better not be kidding. Are you kidding? -- Again almost hyperventilating and shaking my head yes. He ran down stairs to look at the test. He was beaming with the biggest smile you have ever seen. I think that will be my favorite memory every. Madison came running up and giving me a hug asking why I was sad. I don't think she understands that people can have happy tears. I was just completely overcome with emotions. I am thrilled, scared, nervous and probably a million other things. I think it will set it more tomorrow.

I guess our original plan was the correct plan all along. Always rely on the Lord my darlings (I can say that now).. His plan is always better then yours.

----
Let's have a little update on what is going on right now in our lives. Madison turned two, she is still not sleeping through the night but she is talking more every day and is so smart. I hit the one year mark of my bow shop and also hit 700 sales in the etsy store. I am getting better every day at this wife and mother thing but I know I will be closing up shop as soon as I have this kiddo. I need sleep and to enjoy every minute of my babies and my free time will be much more limited.

Daddy starts fire school next month. In the state of Utah you need to be a paramedic AND firefighter in order to work at a fire station. He is also taking this emergency skills course for two weeks at the college. He is about to be a super busy guy. We are just working on a back up plan if we don't end up going to medical school. We have gotten several secondaries but no interviews yet. They still have a couple months but I hope we would at least get one invite to interview. Oh well, Life is all about how you handle plan B.

Madison 2nd birthday

Well Little Miss,

We have made it to another birthday. I can't believe another year as gone by so quickly, I'm sure I say that a lot but it really does seem as though time is speeding up.

This year we spent your birthday in DISNEYLAND with Uncle Will, Mimi, Dad and Me. It was amazing! So fun to see the world of Disney again through my daughters eyes. It was so much more magical then I remember. You LOVED the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and would squeeze our hands on the drops and say "faster, faster!" and when it was over, wanted to ride again and again. You also loved the Dumbo ride. You were a trooper the whole day! You took a quick nap in my arms while waiting in line for a show and slept for a little bit during the show. Not once were you a screaming brat. You were well behaved and I think we all had a great time. I can't wait to take you back when you are older.

You are growing into this beautiful little girl and I can see your personality more and more every day. You are now 33 inches tall and weigh 26 pounds. You are full of fun and love to entertain people and put on a show. We are hoping to begin potty training soon but you seem to currently have no interest in trying. You've been moved to a big girl bed (twin) since the day after your birthday and you are doing great! You still wake up a couple times at night and either dad or I end up sleeping in your bed at some point. However, you do not climb out and scream while pounding on the door. You are strong willed which has made it hard to have you do things like giving up your binkie or potty training. I am sure some day I will admire this trait in you, for you know what you believe and will stick to your guns. You are a lover, my sweet Madison. You do not say " I LOVE YOU" but you will give us random hugs and kisses throughout the day. Before Dad leaves for work, you always demand a big hug and kiss. Then we he gets home (if you're still awake) you always say " I missed you buddy!". How cute are you? You speak very well for a 2 year old and can probably say clearly over 150 words. You are full of energy and love to create. You love painting and drawing. You love to go to music class every week with your friends and are doing great in nursery. You REALLY love to help me cook in the kitchen, no matter what I am making. You are my little buddy. The other day I told you that you were my best friend and you corrected me and said that Grandma (vikki) was your best friend. You really do love your grandparents. Its adorable to watch how excited they get when you come over.

You love to say "LEAF ALONE, ME." when you want space or think you're in trouble.
You say "Miss you guys" A lot
Every time a police car passes by you say "OH HEY COPPER"
You are convinced that every helicopter you see belongs to your Dad and that they are all going to save someone stuck on the mountain. I don't know where you came up with this story but its funny.
You love building blanket forts (or bases as your dad calls them) with your Dad and watching movies inside.
You love to Facetime your Uncle Will but only want to text Uncle Jono.
Bee-duh - is your binkie
Puddles is the stuffed pig you like to keep in your bed
Swinny - Is how you pronounce Finleigh
You love for me to sing you to sleep every night, but if I try and sing during the day you tell me to stop.
You give the best random snuggles.
When it is nap time you always want to take a nap in Momma's bed and have me lay down with you and hold your hand until your asleep. You still aren't a great sleeper but I will take these sweet moments while I just have you to enjoy them with.


Currently obsessed with Tinkerbell movies and the Bubble Guppies (we've move on from Mickey Mouse)
Loves chocolate Milk
Shoe size 6
Clothing 2t
Diapers size 4

23 months

Sweet little girl, you are getting cuter by the day! You are talking SO much and I love it! You are my little partner in crime. Its a pleasure being your momma... most days.

You are 28 pounds
You wear 2T clothing
Size 4 diapers
Blonde hair
You love to snuggle your momma.
You still find your way in to our bed at about 5 am every morning to drink your milk and fall back asleep.
You are a genuine sweetheart. If you can tell I am upset you always ask "ok, momma?"
You are very well behaved. When you do act out or throw a fit you quickly put yourself in time out and let me know when you're ready to be done.
You call fireworks "boom lights"
You have concurred the big water slide at the pool and would ride it over and over with anyone who is willing to take you.
You love the pool and playing in the water.
Your favorite movie is Frozen. Or as you like to call it "deep snow"
Your favorite TV show is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
You like Kale Chips, weirdo
You say the word Brownies as "butt-knees"
You love to help me in the kitchen.
You love to paint and color
Blowing bubbles is another favorite pass time.
You attempted potty training for a couple days but then didn't want to and said you aren't ready. Though sometimes you still actually go on the potty.

You can say over 100 words which is so crazy. In the last couple months you have really exploded verbally. However with all the words you CAN say, you won't say "I LOVE YOU". It kills me. You give hugs and kisses but will never say it.
You are getting better with nursery class and are starting to enjoy it again instead of always screaming when you enter the room.

It is so fun to watch you grow!

I can't believe you are almost two years old! We are taking you to Disneyland for your second birthday. Might as well spoil you while you're our only one!

Be thoughtful

My daughter,

Today Robin Williams committed suicide. He was a great and funny actor. I grew up watching several of his movies. The news repots say that he died at age 63. He left a note saying he felt alone and unloved. I have been thinking about that a lot today. He had a great career, fame, money, friends,  loving kids and wife. How could he possibly feel alone? He battled depression. How sad to know he felt alone and his only thought to solve this problem, was to leave this life.

 I don't have depression myself but I know it is real. I try my hardest to be aware of others feelings. I love the quote "be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about" . Though you may not understand a friends trials, it may be the hardest thing they will ever have to face.

Depression is real and is not something that should ever lead to suicide. If you have having deep feelings of depression and considering harming yourself, please get help.

Know you will always be important. Know that no matter what happens in your life, your parents love you. Know who you are and what you believe. Know that you are never alone.

Madison User Guide 1.11

So at the end of the month Daddy and I are going on a cruise. This will be the first time leaving you for more then a day and it is freaking me out. Mimi will be watching you, so I wrote her a very detailed list of what you like to do all day. She thought the list was so funny that it needed to be put in your baby book.. So below is a copy of the email I sent her.
------------------------
Wake up between 7:30 - 9am

Change diaper and maybe try to use the potty. If she says no, its ok. 

She likes to drink a sippy of milk and watch Mickey Mouse Club House in the morning. She can watch two episodes if you are getting ready or making breakfast. For breakfast she usually doesn't eat much but does enjoy ALL breakfast foods. If you make her cereal she likes cinnamon toast crunch with very little milk, or she spills! Then we get up and dressed for the day. 

.

During the day she likes to play outside mostly. She likes chalk, paint, water activities, walks, and babies. 

She has not wanted to try potty training lately and I'm not pushing it. If she plays outside for a while and gets too hot I try to get her to come in and cool down while watching a show or reading books. This helps settle her down and get ready for nap time too. 

Nap time is usually between 1:30 and 2:30. It depends on how her day is going. She will only take ONE nap a day now. If she falls asleep after 2:30 don't let her sleep past 4 or she will be a bear that night. For naps she may want to lay down with you in mine or your bed. I lay with her until she falls asleep and then I sneak out. If you want, you can prob just put her in her pac n play and she would be fine. She may cry for a minute but its ok. Just depends on what you need to get done. 

If she is naughty she can be put in time out. I usually put her back against the wall and tell her to stay while in time out. She does not get binkie while in time out. (she will ask) After 30 seconds I ask her if she is ready to be done with time out. If she says yes, she needs to stop crying and I explain to her why she was in time out and give her a hug. Sometimes this goes more smoothly then others. If she really throws a fit you can ask her to go to her room and "cool down". 

Lunch and dinner- Don't be worried if she does not eat much. But try not to give snacks after 3 so she will eat a better dinner. She is still kinda allergic to ranch dressing. She is allowed to eat it, but be sure to wipe her hands and face quickly after. It will be red but it fades quickly and does not bother her. She likes steak and chicken but still in pretty small bites. 

She likes to eat, dried blueberries, kale chips, cucumber slices in ranch, chips and guac, cheese sticks, apple sauce pouches, frozen go gurts, regular chips, apple juice, whole milk, green beans, steamed broccoli, pizza. Try to limit the sweets but she can still have some, shes almost to the bribe stage where if she eats more of the "good food" she can have a sucker or something.

BED TIME - She takes a bath every other night, unless otherwise needed. I blow dry her hair while she brushes her teeth. She will do it herself and then I get a "turn". Then new diaper and jammies. If she has a red bum, I usually put a good layer of cream on her. She will want a milk and a show. We cuddle around 8pm and watch "mommy show" which is usually the food network. No cartoons or madi shows. Something "boring" and calm so she wont be scared.  Just before we go to bed, we say prayers where she sits on your lap and kinda cuddles you while you say them. Then I ask if shes ready for bed and she says "two minutes" so i let her watch a couple more minutes of tv and at a commercial break, take her to bed. Sound machine on, I lay her in her bed, pull the blanket over and say good night. Lately she has not cried, but if she does give her at least 10 minutes. She is usually pretty good. Put a full milk bottle in the fridge. 

DURING THE NIGHT she will wake up (sorry) If its before 5am I usually let her cry it out but things are different when we stay there because we are in the room. If she wakes at 10 -11:30 let her really cry it out. When she wakes up (between 3-5) I go get her milk bottle THEN go get her. You can just lay down with her on our bed and give her the milk. Dont turn on the light or anything. She will drink a little or a lot and then hand you the bottle, want her binkie, and fall back asleep. This may happen again at like 6. Give her the rest of the bottle again and follow above routine. Then she wakes up for the day. If you're still asleep she will smack you on the cheek to wake you up. 

Mop = Milk

apple bite = do not cut the apple, she wants to eat it whole (but take a starter bite)

Juicy = Juice

Beeduh = binkie 

bee bell = tinkerbell

mitty mouse = mickey mouse 

show = means she wants to watch tv

Size 4 diapers. Size 2T clothing. Size 6 shoes. 

Weight 26lbs. Height 33 inches

Medication amounts: I try not to give her anything but if need be....

Tylenol - 250 MG

Motrin - 1.875 ML

Benedryl - 6.25MG but do not give

IBProfin - 100 MG

Cough Medication - Call her dr. 

Dr. John Wynn

Utah Valley Pediatrics 171 N 400 W # C12 Orem, UT   84057 Work: (801) 224-4550 Fax: (801) 224-1057

Mommy Moment

A beautiful moment happened today.

You will find that motherhood is not always glamours or enjoyable. You will have screaming children. A shirt covered in who knows what. You will wake up in a bad mood because a certain toddler kicked you in the back all night and you didn't really sleep.

These days suck.

It is hard to be patient and kind on those days. To be quick to love and slow to anger. My advice? Take a quiet minute and say a payer. Even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom. Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy. If you are feeling overwhelmed in your calling as a mother, ask for help.

This happened today. Thankfully you fell asleep and I was able to sit quietly and listen to some peaceful church music. The mess house can wait, for this moment I need to regain sanity. My prayer has been answered and I feel calmed and renewed.

Trust in your Heavenly Father.

Are you Lonely, Momma?

Last night, I was in bed, ready for sleep, doing my nightly terrible habit of scrolling through my facebook feed, when it hit me. It grasped my heart and stole my peace. It was just something as simple as a photo of a few moms hanging out and their playful comment banter under the photo. But it hit me hard. Jealousy. Bitterness. ANGER. And then when those feelings had faded away, all that was left was loneliness.

I get lonely.

Motherhood is lonely.

It just is.

Even if you’re lucky enough to have one or two steady friends, how often do you really get to spend time with them? Life gets busy, babies need to nap, kids get sick, have rehearsals, practices, husbands get home late from work, things change, plans get canceled, you forget to reschedule, and who’s court is that ball in this time? It’s just really, really, hard to have friends in this stage of life.

Sometimes, I go to Target and walk around just to have interaction with people outside of my house. When I’m out with the boys and I look up from the chaos long enough to see another mama doing the same things I’m doing, I just want to run over to her and say, “Are you lonely too? Do you want the same things I want? Do you struggle with the same things I do? Will you judge me for failing? For being scared? For wanting to run away from my kids? For forgetting to put shoes on the oldest and a clean diaper on the youngest? Can we be friends? Am I freaking you out? I don’t care. HOLD ME.”

Sometimes I just want to have a long conversation with someone other than my husband. Someone with female anatomy. Someone in the same life stage as me. Someone that gets me. But I can’t dwell on those thoughts. Loneliness breeds jealousy, and bitterness, and anger, and regret, and then guilt, and sleeplessness, grumpiness, impatience, grudges, depression, and on … and on … and on …

Mama, I know that you’re lonely too. It’s ok. Just remember that this is a season and it is the most sacred season you will ever have the honor of experiencing. This is the time when your babies need you and want you and enjoy having you around. This is the time when they will cling to your legs as you try to leave the house without them and run into your arms when you come home as if you’d been gone a lifetime. You will never be more loved and wanted and needed as you are right now…in this moment.

This is the season of boo-boos and spit up and dirt. It’s the season for 10 minute showers, half shaved legs, and one eyed mascara. You will get lonely. And jealous. And maybe sometimes you’ll begrudge your life and wish you had someone else’s. You’ll get frustrated and angry and you’ll want to escape. This will be the most unglamorous and unappreciated time of your life, and sometimes it just totally sucks. That’s ok. But have peace in knowing that this will be the season you look back on longingly. One day, we’ll gladly give up all the friends in the world to have our babies small again. To be able to fit them on our laps and read them stories and go on adventures and eat pancakes at every meal.

When loneliness creeps up in your heart and you start to feel sorry for yourself and wish for something other than what you have right now, fill that emptiness where your social life used to be with baby belly laughs and movie nights and pillow fights and silly songs. Don’t let temporary loneliness steal this season of your life.

I’m not saying that friendship isn’t important. Obviously, it is, or we wouldn’t feel its lack so strongly. We were never meant to live in isolation. Women, especially, need friendship. But sometimes, our friendships take the back seat in life and we can let that destroy us and affect our motherhood, or we can embrace it and give ourselves, and our friends, grace.

If you have friends, do whatever you can to spend time with them as often as life allows. But maybe you’re in the same place I am right now. Maybe you’re in a new city, and you don’t know anybody, and then you meet people but they already have their group of friends and circles and you just kind of feel like the oddball out. It’s easy to get discouraged and feel defeated. It’s easy to cling to the computer and your online friends. Don’t. Find a moms group, a meet up, a park where moms often hang out. Step out of your comfort zone, ask for phone numbers, and be intentional about forming friendships. Sometimes it will fail. But maybe it won’t! Your new best friend could be sitting across from you at the playground feeling just as lonely as you. Don’t convince yourself that you’re the only one in the world that doesn’t have friends. (I really need to practice what I preach…)

The point is, don’t let loneliness steal this season from you. It’s precious and it’s beautiful and it will be over way too soon.

20 months - my little lady

Wow! I am horrible at writing this blog now. I guess chasing a toddler and running your own company takes a good chunk of your time.

Lets see, at 20 months you are a ball of energy. You have 16 teeth. You weigh 24 lbs.
Size 4 diapers. Size 18-24 month clothes. but mostly moving to the 2T clothing just so you have room to grow. You love to watch tv (oops) and watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse every morning.

You have an advanced palate for a toddler. You enjoy salt and vinegar chips, pickles, crab, spinach and artichoke dip, pizza, chicken and rice.

You can jump. Which is very impressive for your age. If I let you, I know you would spend all day on the trampoline.

You have become a verbal explosion you can say all sorts of words

N-Nate
jono
mimi
dog
puppy
hot
burr (cold)
I'm done
NOT done
pee pee
drink
juice
banana
binkie
chips
please
pop pop (popcorn)
ice
rice
eyes
ouch
mine
daddy
mommy
mom
no

Shoes

Show

Bite

Me

Down

Motherhood is

Challenging. Educational. Rewarding. Exhausting. Spiritual. And so much more

I think of what a blessing it has been to be your mother. I know you were chosen to come to this family. I think of how lucky I am to have a beautiful and healthy baby to play with each day. I take it for granted all too often. I lose my temper sometimes but I know the day will pass and I can try again tomorrow to be a better parent. 

18 months has been a very hard age for me. You now have wants but can not express them verbally and just scream at me. I can not tell you how much it makes my blood boil. I try to guess everything you may want but then sometimes you are just yelling to yell. You have so much attitude for such a tiny girl. You decide when you want to behave and when you want to be a terror. This week in target you threw a huge fit. I was completely embarrassed. You thrashed around and kicked and screamed because I wouldn't let you run wild through the store. So embarrassed, I picked you up and ran out of the store as everyone watched. You stinker.  Then you misbehave another day in another store but quickly obey me and we have an enjoyable shopping experience. You are like a box of chocolates, I never know what I am going to get. (Yes I just quoted from forest gump) 

I am just lucky to have you. The good and the bad. Today I read a story about a young mother with a little girl about your age. The daughter was born with brain cancer and is sadly losing her battle. She does not have much longer on this earth. My heart completely breaks for this poor mother planning a funeral for her small baby. Never getting to see the woman she would have become. 

You grow something new when you have children. It's called a "mommy heart" it's attached right along side to your normal heart but the strings are much tighter and easily tugged on. Things that you once never gave thought to, now bring tears to your eyes. You have a deeper understanding of compassion and empathy. I believe this mommy heart has made me a better person and is a huge part of the woman I am today. But that is all another story for another day. 

I am learning each day to be a better mother. I may not be the mother you want, but I will always be the mother you need. I am strict, but that is because I have been down those roads and made those mistakes. Please listen to my council. I promise I am only here to love and protect you. I want you to be here forever. 

I love you little girl. 

Things I want my daughter to know.

Life isn't fair. It never has been and it never will be.

Do not judge your success based on others. Everyone is at different points in their lives.

Give people a chance. Don't judge too quickly. If I judged to quickly, I would have never given your father a chance.. and then you would have never been born.

Choose your attitude and you choose how each day will be. Some days we wake up and we are just in a grumpy mood. We take that mood out on others and then they are grumpy as well. When we feel that way, we need to take a moment for ourselves and think "today I WANT to be happy", and guess what? We will be. YOU are the only person in charge of your feelings. That happiness will show to others and you will make the world a little brighter.

Great grandma Webster figured out early in life that she was not as pretty as the other girls and instead of sitting alone and feeling sorry for herself she decided then and there that she wanted to be the person everyone wanted to be friends with. She went on to be the homecoming queen, cheerleading captain and lots of other fun things. To this day she is one of the happiest people I know. No matter what you look like on the outside, always let your inner beauty shine. On a side note, I really don't think great grandma dodger is ugly by any means. The point of this story was to show you that you decide on the person you want to be, what you look like outside does not matter. Let people be drawn to your inner light and bright personality.

Suicide is NEVER the answer. If you ever feel like this life is not worth it. TALK TO SOMEONE. It's ok to feel down and have bad days. Not every day is great, that's part of being alive.  We would never know happiness without sadness. Keep an eye out for those around you that may be suffering from depression or feeling left out. Help them have someone to talk to and try to cheer them up. When people get that low, they will not reach out for help. It is your job to be aware and to help them. It seems that lately this topic has been brought up in my life more then I ever want to admit. I have had two distant cousins attempt to kill themselves. Once succeeded and the other is still alive but very much disfigured and now has a very rough life ahead of him. One that he created for himself because of his thoughtless action.

17 Months

You turn 17 months this week. I can honestly say this may be the death of me.

You are always on the go! Your new passion... coloring. Your canvas choices are endless these days, the rug, the couch, the fridge, the list goes on and on. If I turn my back for even two seconds, you find a pen out of thin air and color. You've learned how to open everything from high lighters to lipstick. You are one smart kid.

You walk around on your tip toes a lot these days. You are learning animal noises and have fun trying to practice them. You love to read books. You are really good at understanding and pointing to objects when asked. You don't really "talk" much but you are very good at communication and getting your point across. You like to gibber gabber all day long and sometimes you even sing and its cute. You love to dance when music turns on and when we yell FREEZE you stop dancing and throw your hands in the air. You love stickers. You love to make Dad sit on the floor and brush his hair. You actually sit still and let me paint your toes.. and today you painted mine. You suck at it. Don't worry, practice makes perfect. You are getting better about playing by yourself more often. Not always, but its a work in progress. You are very bossy and mean when playing with other kids and I'm terrified to take you to nursery in a few weeks. You seem to have a slight problem with hitting when someone takes your toy or wont play with you.
You have learned how to open the step stool and push it around the house so you can get things off the counter. Not cool kiddo.

You know how to blow your nose and follow all sorts of strange commands. You have a couple "chores" around the house. After bath you take your dirty clothes and put them in the hamper usually only being asked once. You brush your teeth every night before bed and hold very still while I clean your ears and trim your nails. You also like to help do laundry and unload the dishwasher. You love to watch me cook, and now every evening you sit on the counter and watch me do my thing.

You love having your own room to play in. I can't wait till I finish decorating so I can take a few pictures to show you. At the moment it is kind of a mess because we are still figuring things out.

You are now wearing 18 month clothing and sometimes size 4 diapers. You are stuck in between sizes at the moment.   We go back to the doctor next month for shots and to check your height and weight. Your hair is still a very dark blonde color and your eyes are still a beautiful blue. I think you are starting to look more like me these days.

Lets just mention the only reason this post is being written during the day is because you are playing by yourself in the living room and not completely driving me nuts at the moment. *silent cheer*

16 Months

Oh my baby girl. It has been a while since I wrote in your journal. Life has gotten busy and I have been slacking.

This month we moved in to our OWN apartment. Which means you are finally in our OWN room. I'm sad to see you go because I loved having you so close to us at night. But you needed your own room. I mean really. You are so big now and when you would wake up at night you can stand up and look at us and just scream until we get you. Now you are able to calm yourself to sleep. You sleep better because you don't wake from all the noise Dad and I make.

Your grandparents are sad to see you leave as well. They miss seeing your sweet face every day. You are growing in to this wonderful little person. It almost as if you aren't my "baby" any more because you are becoming my "child". Ouch that makes my heart hurt to type. You understand so much and follow a ton of requests. You can communicate your wants and needs, though you do get frustrated often.

You had your first go with the stomach flu this month. It was one of those moments that helped define me as a mother. I HATE vomit. So when the puking just kept coming it was so hard to clean it all up and deal with the mess. The cuddles from you were so sweet, but the long nights were rough. Not to mention you ended up passing the sickness on to ME and as we were a vomiting mess together your Dad had to step in and take care of both of us. Thankfully the cards aligned and he had a couple days off work, otherwise we would have been stuck alone barely surviving together.

You make me smile almost every day. Its fun to watch your little personality start to really shine. You are not good at sharing toys and have a hard time when playing with other kids. I'm hoping this goes away soon as you prepare to enter nursery with the other kids. I guess its one of the down sides of being an only kid for now. And no we don't have any plans this year to give you a sibling. Though we may have our own space now.... the space is VERY small and our wallet is very tight. Those two things don't allow for another baby at this time. Maybe one day. But not know.

And honestly, sometimes I just look at you and think "my life is complete". But then other times I realize that you need a sibling and a friend in life. I can't guarantee how many siblings you will have, but I know you need to have at least one.


You have 12 teeth. Size 3 diapers, Size 18 month clothing. Weight 22 lbs.
You love playing in the snow and almost daily find your snow clothes and ask to go outside.
You bark at the window when the neighbor dogs bark. Its hilarious.
You watch tv with me before you go to bed. I love the quiet cuddles.
You and I are becoming best friends. You follow me around all day and help with chores. You share all your food with me and constantly have to show me all the new things you discover.
You know all your body parts and can point to them when asked.
You slap the top of your head when anyone says "im totally freaking out". I love it.
You run laps around the house all day as long as someone says 1...2...3
You love facetiming your MiMi and Grandpa.
You love dogs.
You love chips, avocados, oranges, and sweets
You are pretty friendly these days and enjoy trying to run out the door during sacrament meeting.
You always keep me on my toes
You follow me around all day, literally everywhere!
You can kinda talk now and say things like "i want some, wheres dada,
When we pretend to not be listening, you sing and talk to yourself.
You love reading books.