Monday, September 24, 2012

Two weeks old.

Well so far your dad and I are completely obsessed with you and You have gone more places and met more people than you probably should have in the first two weeks of life, my bad.

Been to the ER twice to have dinner with dad so he could show you off.

Been out to dinner 4 times. One of which was for an award dinner at the university for dad and out again for our anniversary.

Been to the doctors for blood tests 5 times but you finally got your jaundice under control so we didn't need to go to the hospital to stick you under the lights. You have your two week check up on Wednesday and we will see how you are doing. (update: you now weigh 6.10 and you are in the 5% for both height and weight, doctor says you look perfect but will be a petite girl)

You have moved or bed time up several hours and now we both beg to fall asleep with you when we put you down around 9.

You wake up every three hours to eat an rarely ever cry. You spend the mornings (9:30-11:30). Awake, alert and completely happy. The sun shines in your crib during that time and you love sunshine. We also play music and you really love that too.

You spread your arms and fingers more then most newborns do and don't ball up either. You have very long fingers and everyone hopes you grow up to play piano.

You have your uncle Will wrapped around your little finger and I think he is really loving his new title as an uncle.
You met grandma and grandpa Murray too and they love you tons. They have completely spoiled you.

Breastfeeding isn't going so well. I really tried but you can't latch and I was not producing enough. I started to get things flowing and we were on a "pump and serve" routine then out of no where my body decided to stop producing all together so it looks starting tonight you are on formula. I'm really frustrated about it but there isn't much else I can do.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Officially a mother

Tonight I had my first nightmare about you. Someone literally toss/dropped you. I know it sounds silly but I woke up with my heart beating out of my chest. Must mean I'm a "real mom" now. Let the worrying begin.....

Monday, September 17, 2012

Hospital Visitors

 Grandma and Grandpa Lyman
 Aunt Lindsay
 The cousins: Max, Finleigh, Maizy
Uncle Jono

 All of the Lyman Ladies
 Uncle Aaron

 Candace Bonsteel
 Calix Robinson
 Great Grandpa and Grandpa Powell
 Great Aunt Katrina
 Shaun and Rachel Hughes
 Our little family
 Your doctor, Thomas Judd
Uncle Nate 

Saturday, September 15, 2012

We survived

Today was just you and I. It was not the easiest thing I have ever done but after today I feel like its all just going to get easier.

We woke up early (after a rough night) and took dad to school. Then you and I went back to the hospital for another jaundice test. Then ran to your doctor for a weight check and the results.. Doctor says you look perfect and you gained .5 oz putting you at a whopping 5.13 but your bellirubin test was high so I have to take you again tomorrow for another test. We jumped back in the car and tackled a trip to babies r us for the last minute stuff we need. Then ran by the quilters to drop off a blanket I'm making for grandpa, picked up lunch and made it just in time to get dad from school to come home abs have a picnic.

I will admit that I felt so accomplished. However it was not all rainbows and butterflies. I had a meltdown in the dr office trying to work with the lactation specialist. My milk still isn't coming in and well breastfeeding is really hard and not going so well for us. Again we were both man handled and both of us got frustrated as you started to scream. So then I began to cry too. I seem to do that a ton these days.

This lady was more comforting about my distress than the lady at the hospital was. She said just remember one thing. Every day tell yourself " I am fed, my baby is fed, today was a success." and to forget about everything else for a while.

So everyday we figure out how to survive together. I am so content just holding you the whole time. I miss the hospital because that's all we did. People brought me food, cleaned my room and reminded me when it was time for medicine. My job was just to love you. It was heaven.

Tonight seems to be going better as well. We are alone while dad is at work. I figured out a feeding system that I hope continues to work for us and in fact. I picked you up from your crib expecting you to want to eat 30 minutes ago, but you fell back asleep in my arms and I love just looking at you. Maybe daddy will be home soon and will want to give you a bottle before he goes to sleep.

Either way Madison. We are figuring this all out. Every day we are just a little closer. I am so in love with you. It's still not quite kicking in that you are mine. No one is coming to take you home. I am your mommy. I am the one that comforts you when you cry. Oh great. Here come the water works again! You are such an emotional mess after having a baby. Just know I love you.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The days to follow...

Dad went home last night to take care of the dog and to bring the things we forgot at home. You stayed in my room all night and I probably spent the entire time looking at you. We tried to nurse. It was hard, but mostly you spend the night snuggled in my arms until the sun came up and we walked around the room and watched the sunrise. I began to cry thinking how thankful I am to have such a beautiful and perfectly healthy little girl I had. We called and woke up Dad. He came down and hung out for a few hours before he had to go to school. Grandma Lyman came over for a few hours to keep me company and to cuddle you.

Doctors and nurses came in and out to check on us. It gave us very little alone time.

We had so many visitors! Great Grandma and Grandpa Powell, Candace Bonsteel, Calix Robinson, Katrina Davenport, and Shaun and Rachel Hughes.

Uncle Nate came the next day to visit before you went home.

Dad spent the night that night. Again you just slept the night away and we loved every minute. Dad and I had milk and cookies at midnight to celebrate and then tried to get some sleep. Which is hard when nurses are bugging you all the time. I LOVED my night time nurses. The day time ones not so much. Mostly they never checked on me and I thought they were a little rude but thats ok.


Monday, September 10, 2012

Our first night together

Today you arrived and three weeks early too. My heart is so full of love and thanks that you are here. I will write more about your birth story later, but for this moment, it is just you and me tonight. Dad had to go home and take care of the dog and get things in order for tomorrow. I hope he enjoys his last night of peaceful slumber. I'm sitting here in our hospital suite watching you slip in and out of sleep. You randomly kick and move and it's so funny to watch because that is the exact movement you did while inside of me. You are so beautiful. I know I am your mother and I am supposed to think that but every nurse that has come in today literally gasped and exclaimed how beautiful you were the moment they saw you. You already have a place deep in my heart little one. I know not every day will be wonderful or easy but I know it will all be worth it. Wish me luck on our first night together...









Madison's birth story

Sunday I spent the entire day in bed. I was so terribly sick with a cold. I didn't even leave my room until 3 that afternoon. The family came over for dinner and I tried to hide in my room. Lindsay came upstairs to talk with me and helped me get a few things ready for you. I told her that I had a feeling you were coming early and I said that I didn't mind as long as it was not while I was this sick. Well... 12 hours later my water broke.

I woke up at 4am to use the restroom, per my usual routine, and went back to bed. I couldn't fall asleep and decided to just lay there for a bit. About an hour later, I heard a small "pop" and and thought that maybe the baby had kicked me very low which she has done before. Then I felt a small squish, which any woman in their third trimester will tell you that is totally normal. Then I tried to roll over to fall back asleep and the squish turned into an even bigger squish and I realized my water broke! I sat up quickly to run to the bathroom and not leak on the bed. This caused the "flood gates" to open and woosh. There it was. I came back with my hands between my legs and told Zach what happened. He popped out of bed and we started getting things together to go to the hospital. I threw a towel between my legs, grabbed the hospital bag, told Sophie we loved her and we headed down stairs. We caught Dad in the hallway leaving for work and told him my water broke. I asked for a blessing from him and dad that everything would go smoothly and to help calm my nerves. I called my family on the way to the hospital to let them know whats going on. We arrived at the hospital at 5:45am and I checked in while Zach parked the car. At this point I was not having contractions. The nurses took me back and it was just in time for shift change so I had to wait a bit to get my labor and delivery nurse. My nurse, Lori Sowards, came in and got me all set up for everything. I was dilated to 3 and 80% effaced. Then the contractions started. Nothing too bad for a bit but they slowly started getting more and more intense. Lori said I could have meds to take the edge off before the epidural could come. BUT knowing that medicine works a little too well on me, I declined because I wanted to be alert for delivery. My anesthesiologist was stuck in a c-section and was not able to come set me up with the good stuff until that was over. The contractions were extremely strong and I finally asked the nurse for medicine as he walked in the door. HALLELUJAH ! I have never wanted a needle so bad in my life! My dear sweet nurse helped me hold still and bend forward to prepare for the shot. She apologized for her freezing cold hands and I told her they were a welcome surprise because I was nervous and burning up. Zach held my hand the entire time. Lori kept laughing because I was being so sweet and nice, there was no way I was actually in labor. She said she was happy to have me start off her morning/week on such a happy note. Turns out, the hospital was very busy with deliveries that day. My anesthesiologist was named Dan and he knew a few of the people that Zach worked with and they chatted up as he finished hooking me up. Dan walked out of the room and about five minutes later walked in and said "DONT MOVE! I forgot to tape you up." Apparently him and Zach had been talking so much he forgot to tape everything down after sticking me.

From then on out, labor was wonderful. They checked me again and I was at a 4, then an hour later 6 and an hour after that I was at 10! Yikes. The nurses were impressed with how quickly I was progressing. I was ready to push by 11 am and they called the doctor. They prepared the room for delivery and got everything set up. Still no doctor. The nurses were telling me that "she had so much hair" I remember thinking, OH GOSH! You can see here hair and the doctor isn't here?!? AH! So finally a little after 1pm Dr Judd came into the room, threw on his gown and said "lets see what we've got". I started pushing and two contractions later he said "open your eyes!" I did and looked down to see your head. What?! Already!? I thought I would be pushing for hours!

You came out and he held you up and I started to cry. Dad left to go be by your side while they cleaned you up and he teared up a bit too. They wrapped you and placed you in my arms as the doctor finished stitching me up and everything. You were BEAUTIFUL. No conehead. No puffy face. Just beautiful. It was instant love. They unhooked the machines and started cleaning the room while Dad and I just stared at you and took turns holding you. The whole experience was a whirlwind. From start to finish it was 8 hours. Which the nurses told me was unheard of. The rest of the day was honesty a blur. I remember calling family and that night the Lyman clan came to see you. They were all instantly in love.


I was a little bummed that things didnt go how I thought they would. I thought my water would break and I would be calm and collected. I would shower, shave, brush my teeth and get ready for the day. I wanted to take one last picture pregnant to remember what my tummy looked like the day you arrived. Forgot that too. I got too excited and just threw on clothes and left. Looking back. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Birth Day Pictures

Daddy thought it would be funny to take a picture of me checking into the hospital with a towel shoved down my pants. 

Our last picture of just the two of us. 

The last picture of you inside my tummy.

The first picture of you in the world!

Our first picture as a family of three.

The first time Daddy got to hold you.


Your first bath and our first glimpse of the infamous pirate eye.

Getting prints of your feet.