The next stage... Childhood

MOTHERHOOD IS THE EXQUISITE INCONVENIENCE OF
BEING ANOTHER PERSON'S EVERYTHING.


Its interesting... as my children have grown and gained more independence I have relied on this journal less and less. It seems to be in those overwhelming stages in the beginning you yearn for an outlet, to let your voice be heard, to know you aren't alone.You seek validation and understanding. As they grow, your life is no longer consumed with middle of the night feedings and early bed times but replaced, instead, with school, extra curricular activities, sports, late night family things and countless adventures. You are no longer a slave to the infant and a prisoner during naptime in your own home. You move on to the next stage.

It's as if your body is awakening from survival mode. The mode it has been in for the last 6 years. I am finding more time for myself, working on hobbies, serving others, bettering myself and generally enjoying more of my time as a mother. You pray so often for the hard time to pass but the saying is true "the days are long but the years are short". So here we are, out of infancy and toddler stage. My babies are now children. Madison is finally sleeping IN HER ROOM through the night, which if I haven't mentioned before has been horrible. She has slept on our floor for so long I forgot what it was like to NOT have a pile of blankets and pillows on the floor next to my bed. We tried so hard and for so long to get her to do it. She finally decided three weeks ago she was ready and never looked back. Sometimes I miss her sweet little body laying on the floor next to me. You never know when the last time will be the last and you have to remember to treasure every moment. Braden is almost potty trained which means WE WILL BE DONE WITH DIAPERS by the end of summer. Hopefully, he isn't as motivated as Madison was. Once she decided it was three days and she was completely day and night potty trained. Braden just likes pooping in his diaper too much. He has no desire to get out of diapers or move out of his crib. I keep asking if he wants a big boy bed but he just says "no I like my Tib". Ok then buddy.


This week I went through all of their baby clothes. I began one day but it hurt my heart to go through each box that I had to stop and take a break. I was sad to see so many tiny cute clothes that would never be worn by another one of my babies. I sat and remembered each outfit and the stage of life that accompanied it. Maybe most people are not that attached to their children's baby clothes but this truly was difficult for me. I finally had a neighbor come over and take as many baby clothes as she needed and I just had to turn a blind eye while she loaded up the bags. I know we are not having any more children, Zach got snipped a year ago, but something inside me is still sad about it... and yet all at the same time my life feels complete with these two little ones and I couldn't imagine adding another to the mix. The two of them are spoiled beyond their wildest belief. Its hard to say no to them most days.