One week old.

We survived our first week as a family of four. So far adjusting to this new phase in life has been good.  Madison loves holding, snuggling, kissing, feeding, and burping Braden. She has been so helpful and kind to her baby brother. It is very comforting to me.  Night times are still rough. When Zach isn't home its a little hard to take care of the two kids at once. Madison is very sweet but not totally understanding sharing her bedtime snuggles. Shes great the rest of the day, but she is used to someone sitting and singing her to sleep and "staying there" which is harder to sit on her bed and snuggle when you are having to feed Braden or rock and burp him. She does not like sleeping alone and is having a hard time that the rest of us have  a "sleep party" every night without her. We're working on it. She usually makes to our bed by 1am and snuggles till morning.

The first couple nights home were really hard. Little man was so uncomfortable and would wake up every 15 minutes crying in pain. His tummy would grumble and he was just so upset. Turns out the kid was STARVING! His second day of life he was upset at night time too and I finally gave in and gave him some formula after breastfeeding for almost an hour. He chugged an ounce. I continued to exclusively breastfeed, but my milk didn't come in until day 5 and we hit a snag. I was too engorged to be able to nurse and had to pump and serve, which while trying to take care of a newborn and toddler, pumping isn't the easiest thing. Finally at 2:30 in the morning while trying to figure out what I should do to make baby boy happy, a feeling came to me to just give him some formula. He drank the entire two ounces and fell fast asleep. All the tummy grumbles weren't gas, they were hunger pains! Poor guy hadn't been filled for almost 5 days, no wonder he was grumpy.

As my milk started to come in, I was not producing enough for each feeding for you, still unable to actually nurse because of engorgement, I began the pump and serve routine again. However after a good couple days of stress, I said a prayer and asked what I should do. I decided it would be best for Braden to switch to formula. I continued to pump and feed until he was one week old and the colostrum was all gone. Now that we have switched, things are going much better. Madison is getting the attention she needs, Braden is happy and fed, and mommy is keeping her sanity. Haters gonna hate for me choosing to formula feed, but honestly the most important thing is that my kids are fed and they have a happy momma taking care of them.

The first night home in the middle of the night Madi had made it to our bed. Braden was up crying which at first made Madi hide her head under the pillows. We asked if she wanted to go back to her bed so she would not hear him cry but she refused. I sat at the edge of the bed a little upset and worried that every night would be like this and how would I ever survive? Madi came up to me, rubbed my back and said "its going to be ok, Mom" HOLY COW bring on the water works! My sweet sweet girl. I got Braden to sleep laying on my chest. He was still pretty uncomfortable at this point. Madison snuggled up to my arm half asleep and helped burp him until she fell back asleep. It was so sweet it could just make this mommys heart burst. She has a deep love for him that I am so grateful for.

Madison is completely potty trained now. She also decided on Fathers Day (June 21) that she would say the prayer for lunch all by herself. She's wanted to say the prayers for meals ever since. It was the sweetest present ever. Up until now when you asked her to fold her arms or say the prayer she would just respond with "I can't". Which was adorable, but I really wished she would want to say prayers. She came around to it all her own.