A girlfriend of mine was present to photograph the birth of Braden. Some of the images she captured are my most prized possessions. She asked me what birth has taught me. This was my response:
"Birth has taught me that I am stronger than I ever thought possible and my body can do incredible things. With my daughter, it prepared me and turned me in to a mother. To think of someone else's needs before my own and to grow as a woman. With my son, it taught me that in that same beautiful moment; life can end as quickly as it begins. It's hard to think that the happiest and scariest moments of my life occurred on the same day and only minutes apart. I learned to cherish every happy, scary, sweet and sad moment that life has to offer. Birth never goes as planned and no two are the same, they are as unique as the mothers that endure it. But oh what a beautiful thing to endure."
Isn't that the truth? Giving birth brought me to this whole new level of amazing women who call themselves Mothers. I'm sad to say that my days of pregnancy and child birth are behind me. Though I am completely ok with only having two children, the rest of the world seems to think differently. We live in Utah... where most people believe the more children, the better. They seem stunned when at such a young age I am confidant in my decision to have no more children. It is usually follow up with several inappropriate questions and mostly I just want to shake them and yell I ALMOST DIED GIVING BIRTH TO THE LAST ONE. Which granted isn't the main reason for not having any more children but it is a big one.
Our life is perfect with the two of you. It's also complicated with our situation because of how much your Dad works. We don't know how long this career will last, but we know for now I wouldn't be able to handle having another child. What if I get put on bedrest at 4 months pregnant with two small children around. What if I go in to labor early? What if Zach has to miss it? Zach is gone every other week, its just not a good idea for us. Truthfully I grew up in a family of two. There are times when I wish I had another sibling to turn to when William is driving me crazy. Because there is only two of us and we love each other. I want to give my children the best in life and give you every opportunity. Zach grew up in a family of 5 boys. They didn't experience the finer things in life. Not that I believe children should be spoiled, but I'd like them to be comfortable.
My world revolves around two little people. My children see my good days and my bad. They know how to make me smile and how to push my buttons. They know me better than probably anyone. Sometimes I feel like I have "lost myself" in motherhood but really it was these two who helped me find who I am supposed to be. I am grateful to be their mother.
Our life is perfect with the two of you. It's also complicated with our situation because of how much your Dad works. We don't know how long this career will last, but we know for now I wouldn't be able to handle having another child. What if I get put on bedrest at 4 months pregnant with two small children around. What if I go in to labor early? What if Zach has to miss it? Zach is gone every other week, its just not a good idea for us. Truthfully I grew up in a family of two. There are times when I wish I had another sibling to turn to when William is driving me crazy. Because there is only two of us and we love each other. I want to give my children the best in life and give you every opportunity. Zach grew up in a family of 5 boys. They didn't experience the finer things in life. Not that I believe children should be spoiled, but I'd like them to be comfortable.
My world revolves around two little people. My children see my good days and my bad. They know how to make me smile and how to push my buttons. They know me better than probably anyone. Sometimes I feel like I have "lost myself" in motherhood but really it was these two who helped me find who I am supposed to be. I am grateful to be their mother.
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